Friday, October 2, 2009

Is That For Here Or To Go?

I feel the need to write this one in the approximation of a New Yawk accent (and hey, if I'm offending anyone, I am actually originally from there, so a big bronx cheer to you).

I work inna pizza place in New York City.  Trust me, every food establishment in da city has either rats or cockroaches, quite possibly both.  We had traps all over outta da view udda customers, but we hadda stubborn rat that would nevah get himself caught.  One day, for whatevah reason, maybe he liked da pizza, I dunno, but he climbed inna one of the ovens, tru the back I guess.  We found him cooked on toppa a pizza. 

We sold da pizza anyway.

Okay, I'll have a pizza with, let's see...mushrooms, sausage and oh, yeah, if you could add a few rat hairs for texture, that would be great.

Thanks to Guido (see why I had to write it like I did? his name compelled me to)!


Rabab said...

no no! i wish i'd never read this...i'll never eat another pizza...

did you get any customer reviews on the rat pizza ("your pizza tonight was even BETTER than ever")

Apryl said...

Hahaha that's so gross! My mom had a mouse in her kitchen that liked to pop up through her stove all the time. How the little bigger managed to live I have no idea. Probably because my mother knew how nasty and dirty it was inside having a mouse having lived and scurried in it she didn't USE it ever.

Eventually the landlord came and took care of the problem and all was disinfected heavily.

But still, EW.

Tatyana Vinogradsky said...

This is absolutely disgusting. I feel violated now that I've read it.

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