Saturday, October 17, 2009

Hitting The Target

When I worked at Target, a fellow cashier was pretty nutty.  She would loudly comment on every single item people were purchasing.  EVERY.  SINGLE.  THING.  It's okay to talk about one or two things, but she would have something to say about everything from bicycles to gum.  So a typical check out event for her went something like this:

"Great book!  Do you read a lot? Whitening toothpaste!  Your teeth don't seem yellow to me! Gum!  I love that flavor!  Nice eyeshadow, do you think that would look good on me?  Pretzels! Boy, I'm hungry!  A DVD player!  Whatcha gonna watch?  Gloves!  It's chilly out there!  Mouthwash - someone wants minty fresh breath!"

This was annoying as all heck, but she didn't even sensor herself when it came to, shall we say, personal or intimate products:

"Tampons!  Guess someone has their monthly visitor!  Preparation H!  Ouch, does it hurt to sit?  Lacy bra- sexy, sexy!  Condoms!  Someone's gonna get lucky!!  KY Jelly - the slipperier the better, eh?"

Management reapeatedly warned her to stop, but it was almost as if she couldn't.  So they had to let her go.

Oh boy. I can only hope her next job was not at a doctor's office.

"Wow, that growth is huge!  I can hardly look at you!  So you have an STD? How'd you get it?  You're getting psych drugs - why, are you crazy?  What's that thing on your face? Can I touch it?"

Thanks, Frances, for letting us check this one out.  *groan*


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