All In Good Taste

I received a submission that is so vile, so nasty, so incomprehensible and illegal, I can't in good taste post it.  But I wanted to send out a thank you anyway to TomaytoTomahto for sending it in and for the nightmares it will cause me for years to come.

Good taste?  Moi?  Yeah, I know, it shocked me too.

And I know you're all hating me right now.  I'm like that friend that tells you they have a big, juicy secret and then won't spill it. 

Anyway, on to today's regularly scheduled craziness:

I work with an older woman who is kinda old school.  No matter how many times we tell her that stamps have adhesive already on them these days, she still peels them off and licks them before putting them on the envelope.  She also won't use a phone without a cord because she "doesn't believe in them" and she is afraid of the microwave.  She thinks that some kind of waves are being sent out from it and they are gradually cooking her internal organs every time someone uses it.

Hmmm, come to think of it, your office does smell sorta like liver and onions being cooked.  Without the onions.

Enjoy your microwave popcorn while you slowly kill your coworker, HarryP!