Ding Dong

I work with someone who likes to brag about the size of his 'manhood'.  He's always fitting it into the coversation somehow.  For example, if we ever use big or huge or any word with the same meaning to describe something, he'll say something along the lines of "Well it's sure as hell not as big as my shlong!"  Doesn't matter what we were talking about; we could've called anything from a dog to a cloud large and he'd bust out with his penis comparison.

He once even made a joke about having to tuck it into his boot.

What happens when he doesn't wear boots?  Does it sneak out his pant leg and trail behind him like a big ol' snail?  Bad if he walks on rough asphalt; the cheese grater effect and all that.

Thanks Melodia!  This one was HUGE!