Friday, January 15, 2010

Tongue Wagging

Got ya all a good one for Friday...

I used to work with a woman who was out of her mind.  I will start with the small stuff.  Keep in mind that all these bizarre activities weren't done just in front of coworkers, but her bosses also. 

She used to come into people's offices and put her feet on their desks.  If there was a sweater or jacket in your office, there was always the possibility she might come in, put it on and wander off, leaving you to find your item where ever she might have left it.  She would play with her boobs in meetings, like adjusting them and squishing them around in her top.  One time she even sat through a meeting making Scotch tape loops and then putting them down her shirt, saying it was showing too much and she needed to tape it down.  Most people would do that in private, obviously.

The craziest episode was one day during a lunch meeting in the conference room.  We knew she was nuts by then, so when she said "Do you want to see what I can do?" We all said "NO!"  But she did it anyway...

She started by massaging both sides of her neck vigorously.  After a while, she opened her mouth and stuck out her tongue.  Her tongue was the scariest thing I have ever seen.  It was all huge and engorged, with a big swollen ball on the end.  Not to be crude, but very much like an erect penis.  Somehow her neck rubbing caused her tongue to become puffed up with blood.  As we all sat frozen in shock, she grabbed her tongue, wiggled it around to release some of the blood, then pulled it straight down and under her chin.  We all got up and ran from the room, but she still didn't get that she was insane and these were not normal office activities.

In case you're curious, coworkers have told me there are examples of other people doing this same thing on YouTube.

Okay, I tried to find these videos.  But you would be amazed and quite possibly horrified when you look for videos using the search terms tongue, erect, and massage.  So I gave up before I became permanently traumatized.

I gotta go and bleach my brain....

I hope your company pays for your therapy, HighHeelLvr!


strokeofliving said...

Well that is not just a cup but a whole house [attic and basement] of crazy.

I'm staying away from you tube for a while - I'm horrified just reading this stuff.

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