A Hair Raising Experience

Kris has one:

I worked at the best salon ever for years! It was the (Name redacted, 'cause I just can't be advertising other people's stuff. You understand, right? No hurt feelings? Okay, let's move on). One of the hairstylists, Beth, was having a rough patch in her life. She had always seemed normal before this, but obviously something was going on with her, I don't know what. One morning, she came in looking really bad. She said she had been out drinking with friends all night, drowning her sorrows. I couldn't tell if she was just hungover or still drunk. Anyway, she had a customer with super long hair down to the middle of her back who wanted a trim, just the split ends, but Beth just could not get the ends straight. So she kept trying, and more hair kept coming off. The customer started to get agitated (I wonder why?)and when she asked Beth what she thought she was doing, Beth lost it and just grabbed a huge hunk of the customer's hair near her scalp and just hacked it off. The customer jumped up and started screaming and crying, while Beth ran out of the salon, and just kept going. She never came back, even for any money she was owed.

I think the salon owners paid off the customer so she wouldn't sue, but I wasn't really privy to that information.

Uh, Kris, your idea of the Best Salon Ever and my idea of the Best Salon Ever are radically different. I'm just sayin'.

The Message Board Is Up!

<<<<< There it is, right there to the left. Get talking!

Eye'll Be Seeing You

This one sounds waaaay far fetched, Louise, but hey, truth IS stranger than fiction, so who knows? But ya know, I'm just here to report the crazy, not to figure out if it's true or not. And if you're making this stuff up, then maybe YOU'RE the crazy one (insert evil laugh here).

A guy at my office had a glass eye. He would pop it out at the most unexpected times, like meetings and lunch. He would roll it across the table and play with it.

He even put it in someones coffee once, and I think the screams must have been heard for miles around.

Can you even TREAT a glass eye like that? Isn't it fragile? Like, as in, say - glass? Or maybe he had a collection of replacements at his home. Now THAT would be something to see.

Commando!

Moose says:

We had a woman here at work who used to wear really, REALLY short skirts to work. And then announce to all who would listen that she was going commando (underwear free, for those who might not be up on skank slang).

She would sit in conferences crossing and uncrossing her legs all the time like that scene in Basic Instinct. I think she was attempting to come off as sexy and carefree.

It didn't work. More like sleazy and desperate.

So I guess all the guys at the office were trying to snatch a glance? Or glance a ....ahem, you know.

Sorry. I really couldn't help myself with that one.

I Vant to Suck Your Blood

Frank, yours is rather creepy...

I worked in a blood bank many years ago. A new guy was hired to transport the blood, a very average, normal seeming guy - almost kind of nerdy.

One day he approached me to let me know that the only reason he applied for the job was because he belonged to a group of self-proclaimed vampires. At that point, they had been drinking cows blood *gack* but really wanted to give human a try. He was very disappointed when he discovered that blood banks have very strict protocols and he couldn't steal any blood.

Did they go around stabbing cows? Or did they go to the supermarket and buy a steak that looked bloody and....ugh, I am making myself so sick.

Maybe a slaughterhouse would've been a better job choice?

Sunday Funnies

More stuff that gave me a chuckle:

This isn't TOO embarrassing. I mean, she failed to stop at a railroad crossing!! She shoulda stuck with the first report.

Hehe! Butt crack!! *snicker* I admit to having a bit of a juvenile sense of humor...

Well, it would be weird if he played with other people's:

Personally, I hate the strict Wal-Mart dress code:
If anyone knows the legal way, let me know, ok?

I would think a talking duck would be the lead in the story, but what do I know?

You know, I myself sometimes wonder who that person staring back at me in the bathroom is...

What a bargain!

Do they have slight urine smell too?:

Calling all Gradys!!

Happy Sunday!

Flying the Not So Friendly Skies

Hayley flies one by us:

I work as a flight attendant. One of my fellow workers was a total b*tch. If anyone would ask for anything she would make comments like "Honey, I don't think you need those extra peanuts" in a sweet voice as if she was actually being helpful. She told a man who needed a seat belt extender due to his weight that she was worried for his health and he should really look into a weight loss program. She told a mother with a crying child that she sympathized with her and that unfortunately being a good mother just doesn't come naturally to some. She was fired after a nervous flier kept calling her over when we were experiencing some turbulence and asking if this was normal. She reassured him the first couple of times, but then she got fed up. The next time he called her over, she told him "Wow, I've never seen turbulence like this! I think we might go down!" The rest of us had to calm the hysterical man while she giggled to herself in the galley, although I think she stopped giggling when she found out she was out of a job.

Well, I guess she really didn't give a flying....um, you-know-what... about her job.