Friday, April 30, 2010

Hacking Horror

Totally disgusting story about a girl I used to work with.  I have no idea what was wrong with her, but she had some sort of excess phlegm issue.  So she kept a styrofoam cup on her desk and would hack phlegm balls into it all day long, making that gross noise and everything.  And she'd use the same cup for like a week (sometimes longer) before throwing it out and getting a new one.
Just reading this made me kinda nauseous.  *gag*  Can I assume people didn't stop by her desk to chat too often?

I hope you never mistook her spittoon for an empty cup for your coffee, AnneBFree!

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

I Will Kill You With My Bare Hands

I have a great affinity for crazy people in general, but crazy famous people?!?! LOVE 'EM! So I'm loving this:

Russell Crowe is set to capture America's heart all over again when Robin Hood hits theaters in two weeks. But let us not forget: Russell Crowe is crazy. Some exclusive excerpts from a new book remind us just how crazy.

The following excerpts are taken from

The Men Who Would Be King: An Almost Epic Tale of Moguls, Movies, and a Company Called DreamWorks
 by Nicole Laporte, which will be released May 4. Her chapter on the making of Gladiator contains these tidbits about what it's like to work with Russell Crowe. First, his negotiation style:

"You motherfucker. I will kill you with my bare hands."

"Hello?" Branko Lustig said, confused and barely awake; it was, after all, 3 a.m. in England.

"You motherfucker," the speaker repeated.

"Who's on the phone? Who is this?" Lustig demanded.

When Russell Crowe identified himself, the genuinely terrified Lustig, one of the producers of the about-to-be-filmed Gladiator, hung up and called Steven Spielberg in Los Angeles.

"Steven," he said. "I'm leaving. Russell wants to kill me. I'm leaving."

Having survived a concentration camp, Lustig was not taking any chances.

Crowe, not yet Russell Crowe, but still just another verkakte Australian coming off a sleeper (L.A. Confidential), was sour because he believed DreamWorks was low-balling his assistants on their per diems. Rather than raise this grievance at a mundane daylight hour, Crowe opted for a more dramatic statement, a tactic not unknown in these parts. The actor's recent behavior had been erratic, just like everything else on the project.

Next, a surly and apparently hung over Russell comes to a script meeting at Ridley Scott's production facility one morning. He insults the recent script changes and walks out. Ridley Scott finally tracks Crowe down and gently ushers him back to the meeting:

Finally, Crowe materialized—unrepentant and sans affability. If Scott's pep talk had any effect, it seemed to have lodged deep in the actor's subconscious. Crowe played along, but refused to summon a scintilla of good humor. He didn't so much recite his lines as growl them in a deranged accent that flitted between indeterminate continents of origin. More absurd was Oliver Reed's delivery. Even though his lines were as long as haiku, he filled them with dramatic flourishes. Having recently renounced drinking, he said that the only thing he was chugging was lemonade, but the question was just what he was mixing in the stuff.

"My oold frrriend," he read, puckering his lips and rolling his r's with all the pomp of a 17th century thespian.

Crowe, in turn, chewed up monologues, spitting out each and every poisonous syllable.

Screenwriter John Logan, who has lovingly crafted many of these lines, watched in horror. He scrawled four words on a piece of paper: "Kill me! Kill me!"

A month later, after filming in England, the shoot moved to Ouarzazate, Morocco – a town near the Sahara Desert, where Hollywood has traditionally gone for its sword and sandal needs (Lawrence of Arabia was filmed in the area). Crowe's mood did not improve. Twice, he had walked off the set. Even when he was supposedly having "fun," Crowe was a puffy pain. After challenging members of the crew to a foot race, and losing, he would mutter for days, "I would have won, but I can't run in the sand in sandals."

Heh! And finally, an inside look at the ferocious working style of the world's greatest actor (Russell Crowe):

Never were Crowe's spirits more in flux than when he was to read the climactic, "And I will have my vengeance, in this life or the next" scene, in which his character, Maximus, removes his helmet and reveals his identity. It was only the most seminal line in the entire movie, and yet Crowe was convinced that it was ridiculous – overwrought, puffery that no man would ever be caught dead saying, least of all a brawny, sword-carrying killer standing under the unrelenting African sun. Scott was one of the few people who seemed to understand Crowe, that underneath all that volatility was a very scared actor who needed to feel safe. Rather than blow up at him, Scott waited until the tantrum subsided. Then he agreed to shoot the scene the way Crowe preferred.

After doing the take, Crowe still looked dissatisfied. "Let me see the other script again," he said to Scott, referring to the loathed revision. After studying the page stonily, he shrugged. "Well, we might as well try it."

And so, the scene was reshot. Everyone agreed it was brilliant. Everyone, that is, but Crowe. "Russell, what's the problem?" Scott asked, finally showing a hint of exasperation. "It worked."

"It was shit," Crowe repeated, "but I'm the greatest actor in the world and I can make even shit sound good." And with that he marched off.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Bloody Bizarre

Today's is brief...but bizarre:

This woman I used to work with would purposely give herself paper cuts.  Her hands were covered in them.  She tried to hide it while she was actually doing it, but we'd catch her all the time.  Plus there were always drops of blood on any paper you would get from her.

Paper cuts are freakin' AWFUL!  I can't believe anyone would self-inflict them - YOW!

But then again... could you get some sort of on-the-job injury time off?!?!

*heading off to look for extremely sharp paper*

I'm sending you some Latex gloves so you can handle your bio-medical hazard paperwork, GrantedRee.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Finally...Graphs That Make Sense

How many times have you gotten a friend request, and just said "Ugh, really?!?!?"  C'mon, you know you have!

 I rarely use it yet Adobe is always updating itself and demanding that you restart your computer...or else.  

Is it  too early to start drinking?

Actually, for me, its my dog.  Will follow a laser light for hours.  Damn funny.


Try not. Do or do not, there is no try.
-- Yoda

Heading out to catch me some crickets for dinner.

Sunday, April 25, 2010

Sunday Silliness

Some people probably should not be parents.  Cases in point:

"Nah, kids, they just put that wall there to be annoying, not for any safety reasons or anything.  But I got an idea...."

I always say you're never to young to learn how to use a deadly weapon.

Who's taking pictures of my kid? 

On a side note, my cart is filled the same way.  But it's a full sized adult cart, of course.

I like the special little chair she's got for him.  How innovative!  And I'm sure it has a seat belt attachment. So, no safety issues here, nosirree!!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Stayin' Alive

Yay, we have another from HRLady:
Another interviewee I had was a bit… Her resume was great, but her actual interview, welllllll…..

Me: Tell me about your previous employment.

Crazy Job Applicant: It’s on my resume.

Me: I know it is, but I want you to elaborate a bit.

CJA: I don’t talk about my past.

Me: No?

CJA: No.

Me: Okay then, what was your base salary at your last position?

CJA: That’s my past. I don’t talk about it.

Me: Great. Moving on….what are your goals within this company if you should get the position?

CJA: Am I supposed to predict the future? Because I have just one goal at this point - staying alive.

Me: Thank you. We will be in touch.
So you hired her, no? You’d be stupid to let that one get away!!

Who has the Bee Gees stuck in their head now? *raises hand*

Thursday, April 22, 2010

Feeling Cocky

I work in Human Resources, so basically I interview a whole lot of people. A few have certainly stuck out in my mind, for example, one kid straight out of college. The conversation went like this:

(Kid walks in looking super relaxed)

Cocky Job Applicant: So, let’s get right down to it. There is no one better for this job than me. You’d be stupid (!!!) to look further.

Me: We have many qualified applicants.

CJA: Of course, you have to say that. Can we talk money?

Me: There is much more to cover before we discuss salary. You don’t have much job experience.

CJA: I don’t need experience. I have more brains and talent than most of the people already working here.

Me: (Starting to get reeeealllly annoyed.) Well, that’s nice, but I can’t really take your word for it.

CJA: When I work here you’ll see what I mean.

Me: No, I won’t. Because you won’t be working here. And I suggest you refine your interview skills before your next interview.

CJA: (Looks shocked, then recovers his swagger.) Dumb move, lady. Someday you’ll see my name and regret not hiring me.

Nice, huh?
Admit it, you all thought from the title I was going somewhere else with "cocky".  Heh.

She probably will see his name somewhere at some point. Quite possibly the Police Blotter.

Or Hollywood. They seem to like arrogant asses.

Thanks to HRLady!!

Wednesday, April 21, 2010


A waitress I once worked with was not very bright. If she saw spots on a glass in the dish room, she would spit on her finger and rub them off, then shine the glass on her sweaty work shirt. The worst part is that she saw nothing wrong with that practice until one day....

a customer complained about a spotty glass. She did her spit/shine routine right at their table and put the glass back down at the place setting. She didn't understand why the customer was so freaked out, and insisted it was no big deal because her "mother used to do that all the time at home". The manager got called over, and she was fired immediately.

Is it weird that this post make me a little sad? Just the fact that she didn't understand the problem kinda depresses me.

Or maybe it's just PMS.

Time for chocolate and a weepy Lifetime movie. Oooooooh, and potato chips. Okay, gotta go!

Your dishwasher at work apparently sucks, Sweetie99!

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Build The Ark!

Okay, so last week, there was an illness in the family that prevented me from posting as much as I would like. Things are much better on that front in the flooded Northeast, my basement is under a foot of water. So hang in there...