Happy Labor Day

You're inside? At a computer?!?!  It's a holiday!  Get yourself outside and enjoy the last bit of summer.  I command that you do so!

But make sure ya come back tomorrow when the fun is done and gloomy reality sets in.  Sigh.

Sunday Silliness

Bizarre business names....

I REALLY want to visit that gift shop.

This is for the times your battery operated ass quits on ya.  Plug it on in!

What, no sneeze guards? 

Is that like mad cow?  I think I'll pass...

Who needs to buy them? We can make our own at home!

Combined with the ball washer at the bowling alley, we've got it all covered.

Bar Ho

I worked with a fellow bartender who was a slut (stop with the sugar-coating, will ya? Tell us what you REALLY think). Every night at the bar, she'd zero in on her conquest for the night and spend the whole time making sure he left with her after closing.  Sometimes she'd show up for her shift the next day (which wasn't until 6pm) wearing the same clothes from the night before, looking all rumpled and mascara raccoon eyed.  But still, she'd find someone different to take her home that night.

Eventually it came out that she gave pretty much the entire population of male bar patrons (and some of the employees!) the clap.

Please tell me you did not sit on the toilet seat at work.

Let's all clap for Barrie's submission!

In The News...

Let this be a lesson to you!  Do not use angry fonts.  Use the sweet, happy fonts. 

I never realized that fonts could be such a landmine at work.   Avoid the unitelligent fonts, the inbriated , enebriated, inebriated, drunk fonts and at all costs the criminally insane fonts.  Maybe companies could provide proper font usage classes? 

Emails Spark Woman's Sacking
By Rebecca Lewis
4:00AM Sunday Aug 30, 2009

An Auckland accountant was sacked for sending "confrontational" emails with words in red, in bold and in capital letters.




Vicki Walker, who was a financial controller with ProCare Health, has been awarded $17,000 for unfair dismissal, and plans to lodge an appeal for further compensation.



She is now speaking out, calling for greater protection for white-collar workers from the financial, emotional and mental stresses involved in a dispute with a big corporate employer.



"I am a single woman with a mortgage, and I had to re-mortgage my home and borrow money from my sister to make it through," she said. "They nearly ruined my life."



The Employment Relations Authority ruled that Walker was not fairly terminated from her position after sending the emails to co-workers.



ProCare told the authority Walker - who was fired in December 2007 after two years of employment - had caused disharmony in the workplace by using block capitals, bold typeface and red text in her emails.



She had also acted provocatively in seeking to view complaints laid against her by colleagues.



But Walker said they talked about a number of emails she had sent, yet used only one in evidence. The email, which advises her team how to fill out staff claim forms, specifies a time and date highlighted in bold red, and a sentence written in capitals and highlighted in bold blue. It reads: "To ensure your staff claim is processed and paid, please do follow the below checklist."



As part of her compensation, Walker was awarded nearly $6000 in lost wages for the 13 weeks between leaving ProCare and finding a new job, but she says she didn't find fulltime work until October 2008.



Walker was also awarded $11,500 for any harm caused through her dismissal.



"To say that [email] is confrontational is ridiculous," says Walker. "I have spent thousands defending myself and there are so many issues that are unresolved that I want to take them up on."



Authority member Alastair Dumbleton said Ms Walker received no warnings, and while she had contributed to disharmony in the workplace it was not to the extent that dismissal was fair or reasonable.



She had been a capable and competent employee, he said. ProCare did not have a style or etiquette guide for employees using email, so it was not clear what was regarded as unacceptable communication.



ProCare did not respond to a request for comment on the compensation ruling.

Thanks to Verbatim for sending me this link!

Raunchy Real Estate

As a Realtor, I have access to people's homes.  I myself do not take advantage of that, but my coworker Cindy did...


She would look through people's drawers and closets, pulling out whatever she thought was funny to laugh at.  She looked in medicine cabinets to see what prescriptions people took.  She used makeup and perfumes.  She helped herself to their food , not enough that the homeowner would notice anything missing, she just ate bits and pieces here and there.


But the absolute WORST thing she did was when she was in the midst of an affair.  To avoid getting caught by her husband or his wife, she would use her client's homes when she knew they would be at work for her rendezvous.

So she could get to a house, use the makeup and perfume, put out a little food (not too much of any one thing of course), use things she found in nightstand drawers (I don't mean those things, get your minds out of the gutter - wait, maybe I DO mean that - heh), and meet up with her "lover" (I really hate that word. Blech).  And get paid.

Total win-win for her.  The homeowner, not so much.

A big thanks to RealtorChick!

I See Dead People

This woman I worked with told everyone in the office she could talk to the dead.  She would say things such as "Tom, your grandfather Robert has something to tell you."  Meanwhile, Tom's grandparents were all still living, none were named Robert, and neither were any of his great-grandparents named Robert (so that excluded any spirit miscommunication possibilities).  We were used to her making this kind of stuff up, so we'd go along with it and say things like "Oh my God, Grandpa Bob!  What does he want to say to me?!?!"  She'd get this smug look on her face and say something to the effect of "He says the key is hidden in the wall of the old house."  Meanwhile, we were all trying  to keep straight faces and not snicker.  Having us believe she had this 'power' seemed a large part of her self esteem, so we kept our mouths shut about knowing she was a fraud. 

Plus it was funny as hell.

I think Grandpa Bob is pretty pissed off that you didn't go get that key.  Because you never know.....BWAHAHAHA!!! (That was an attempt at an evil laugh.  Just go with it, ok?).


A spooooky thank you to GeorgieP.

Split Personality

The woman I worked for had a split personality.  She would ask for a file, when I would bring it to her she would say "Why are you bringing me this?"  When I would tell her that she asked for it, she would look at ME like I'M crazy and say "No, I did not".   I would send her an email requesting a day off, and she would ok it, but when I didn't come in for work she would call me screaming that she couldn't believe I would just not show up for work.  When I would show her the email proof, she would say she doesn't remember it and someone must have hacked her email, so she would spend all day changing passwords and trying to sniff out the culprit.  She would send me to the building lobby to get her coffee, and when I would come back with it, would tell me to get my coffee on my own time, not the company's.  When I would say it was hers, she'd say "Hah!  Good way to try to weasel out of it!"

We all knew she was crazy, but complaining was not taken favorably by the owner because she was his daughter and could do no wrong in Daddy's eyes. 

When I developed an ulcer and other stress related illnesses, I had to quit.  I still have a twitch under my eye to this day that just doesn't want to go away.

Why did you send me this?  I didn't ask you to!

Oh, wait, I did.  Nevermind.

Thanks to Janice with the twitch...