More Resume Idiocy....

 These blunders are courtesy of Robert Half International's Resumania.:

"SKILLS: Committed to meeting deadline."
Just one?

"HOBBIES: Michael Bolton."
That's a first.

"SKILLS: I'm try-lingual."
She either speaks three languages or has trouble with just one.

"COVER LETTER: I host a superlative proficiency for resolving complex systematic problems. I have pedagogic expertise conducting sales, and I can be quickly utilized as an assiduous, visceral and proactive problem solver."
Easy for you to say.

"EQUIPMENT: Human brain 1.0."
We'll wait for the upgrade.

"POSITION DESIRED: Profreader."
It doesn't look good...

"DATE OF EMPLOYMENT: 2002-9999."
She's earned her gold watch!

"EDUCATIONAL ACHIEVEMENTS: Maintained a 2.0 GPA."
We can't "C" why you highlighted this fact.

"REFERENCES: Scott."
We'll need a little more to go on.

"EXPERIENCE: Demonstrated ability in multi-tasting."
You'll love our vending machine.

"EXPERIENCE: Only employee of a small distribution company."
Can't get much smaller than that.

"APPLICATION: Q: How large was the department you worked in with your last company? "A: 3 stories."
OK ... Then, approximately how many people sat on each floor?

"PERSONAL: I can describe myself in three words: committed, hard working, and very strategic thinking."
That's seven words.

"REASON FOR LEAVING: Pushed aside so the vice president's girlfriend could steal my job."
We're glad you're not bitter.

"OFFICE EQUIPMENT: Stapler."
Did you find it tough to master?

"EXPERIENCE: "Responsibilities included recruiting, screening, interviewing and executing final candidates."
Seems kind of harsh ...

"EXPERIENCE: I was brought in as a turnaround consultant to help turn the company around."
Sounds like you may be going in circles.

"COMPENSATION: My compensation should be at least equal to my age."
And bonuses "tied to" your shoe size?

"WORK EXPERIENCE: Responsibilities included checking customers out."
And then did you rank them on a scale of 1-to-10?

"CURRENT SALARY: $36,000. Salary desired: $250,000."

Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Amusing Resume Mistakes

These are quite amusing.....

Resume Mistakes That Keep Hiring Managers Amused But Cost You the Interview
By Barbara Safani


Think resume typos are no big deal? Last year, Accountemps, a temporary staffing firm, interviewed 150 senior executives from some of the nation's largest companies. Forty percent of the respondents said that just one typo on a resume would cause the candidate to be eliminated. Thirty-six percent said it would take just two mistakes before the resume was put in the "no" pile. Here are some of my favorite resume bloopers I found via Job Mob, Resume Hell, and Zimbio. Obviously spell-check isn't all it's cracked up to be.

• Objective: Seeking a party-time position with room for advancement 
• Professional headline: 1 year old marketing executive
  
• Achievement: Planned new corporate facility at $3M over budget.
  
• Explanation of employment gap: career break in 1999 to renovate my horse
  
• References: Referees available upon request
  
• Skills: I am a rabid typist
  
• Strengths: Impersonal skills
  
• Hobbies: Enjoy cooking Chinese and Italians
  
• Education: College: August 1880 to May 1984
  
• Cover letter: I would like to assure you that I am a hardly working person.

And just how much information on a resume is too much?

• Objective: To have my skills and ethics challenged on a regular basis
  
• Personal Information: Married, eight children, prefer frequent travel
  
• Language Skills: Exposure to German for two years-but many words are inappropriate for business
  
• Reason for leaving last job: the owner gave new meaning to the word paranoia
  
• Achievements: Nominated for prom queen
  
• Education: Finished eighth in a class of ten
  
• Interests: Gossiping
  
• Awards: National record for eating 45 eggs in two minutes
  
• References: Bill, Tom, Eric - but I don't know their phone numbers
  
• Salary: The higher the better
  
• Cover letter: Please disregard the attached resume; it's totally outdated

Sunday Silliness

I love live TV:

Say What?!?

43 Things Actually Said In Job Interviews

By Rachel Zupek, CareerBuilder.com writer

"I'm not wanted in this state."
"How many young women work here?"
"I didn't steal it; I just borrowed it."
"You touch somebody and they call it sexual harassment!"
"I've never heard such a stupid question."
Believe it or not, the above statements weren't overhead in bars or random conversations -- they were said in job interviews.
Maybe you were nervous, you thought the employer would appreciate your honesty, or maybe you just have no boundaries. Whatever the reason, you can be certain that you shouldn't tell an interviewer that it's probably best if they don't do a background check on you. (And yes, the hiring manager remembered you said that.)
We asked hiring managers to share the craziest things they've heard from applicants in an interview. Some are laugh-out-loud hysterical, others are jaw dropping -- the majority are both. To be sure, they will relieve anyone who has ever said something unfortunate at a job interview -- and simply amuse the rest of you.

Hiring managers shared these 43 memorable interview responses:

Why did you leave your last job?
1. "I have a problem with authority." - Carrie Rocha, COO of HousingLink

Tell us about a problem you had with a co-worker and how you resolved it
2. "The resolution was we were both fired."- Jason Shindler, CEO, Curvine Web Solutions

What kind of computer software have you used?
3. "Computers? Are those the black boxes that sit on the floor next to the desks? My boss has one of those. He uses it. I don't have one. He just gives me my schedule and I follow it." - Greg Szymanski, director of human resources, Geonerco Management, Inc

What are your hobbies and interests?
4. [He said] 'Well, as you can see, I'm a young, virile man and I'm single -- if you ladies know what I'm saying.' Then he looked at one of the fair-haired board members and said, 'I particularly like blondes.'" - Petri R.J. Darby, president, darbyDarnit Public Relations

Why should we hire you?
5. "I would be a great asset to the events team because I party all the time." - Bill McGowan, founder, Clarity Media Group

Do you have any questions?
6. "Cross dressing isn't a problem is it?" - Barry Maher, Barry Maher & Associates
7. "If you were a fruit, what fruit would you be?" - Megan Garnett, Articulate Leadership Team, Articulate Communications Inc.
8. "What do you want me to do if I cannot walk to work if it's raining? Can you pick me up?" - Christine Pechstein, career coach
9. "I was a Chamber of Commerce Executive once hiring a secretary. [The candidate asked] 'What does a Chamber of Commerce do?'" - Mary Kurek, Mary Kurek, Inc. Visibility Consulting
10. "Can we wrap this up fairly quickly? I have someplace I have to go." - Bruce Campbell, vice president of marketing, Clare Computer Solutions
11. "What is your company's policy on Monday absences?" - Campbell
12. "If this doesn't work out can I call you to go out sometime?" - Christine Bolzan, founder of Graduate Career Coaching
13. "How big do the bonuses really get once you make associate? I hear it's some serious cash." - Bolzan
14. "[The candidate asked,] 'Can my dad call you to talk about the job and the training program? He is really upset I'm not going to medical school and wants someone to explain the Wall Street path to him.' The dad did call. Then that dad's friends called and I ended up doing a conference call with a group of concerned parents ... long story." - Bolzan
15. "If I get an offer, how long do I have before I have to take the drug test?" - Bolzan
16. "When you do background checks on candidates, do things like public drunkenness arrests come up?" - Bolzan
17. "Can I get a tour of the breast pumping room? I heard you have a great one here and while I don't plan on having children for at least 10 or 12 years, I will definitely breast feed and would want to use that room."- Bolzan
18. "So, how much do they pay you for doing these interviews?" - Jodi R.R. Smith, Mannersmith Etiquette Consulting

Why are you leaving your current job?
19. "Because I (expletive) my pants every time I enter the building." - Abbe Mortimore, Human Resources Manager, True Textiles, Inc.
20. "I was fired from my last job because they were forcing me to attend anger management classes." - Smith

Why are you looking for a job?
21. "Cigarettes are getting more expensive, so I need another job." - Pechstein
22. "My parents told me I need to get a job so that is why I'm here." - McGowan

Why do you want to work for us?
23. "Just for the benefits." - Jennifer Juergens, JJ Communications
24. "My old boss didn't like me, so one day, I just left and never came back. And here I am!" - Matt Cowall, communications manager, Appia Communications
25. "I saw the job posted on Twitter and thought, why not?" - Rebecca Gertsmark Oren, Communications Director at The Rudd Center for Food Policy and Obesity

What are your assets? (as in strengths)
26. "Well, I do own a bike." - Pam Venné, principal, The Venné Group

What are your weaknesses?
27. "I get angry easily and I went to jail for domestic violence. But I won't get mad at you." - Pechstein
28. "I had a job candidate tell me that she often oversleeps and has trouble getting out of bed in the morning." - Linda Yaffe, certified executive coach
29. "I am an alcoholic and do not deserve this job." - Deb Bailey, owner, Power Women Magazine & Radio Show
30. "I'm really not a big learner. You know ... some people love learning and are always picking up new things, but that's just not me. I'd much rather work at a place where the job is pretty stagnant and doesn't change a lot." - Michaele Charles, Voice Communications

When have you demonstrated leadership skills?
31. "Well my best example would be in the world of online video gaming. I pretty much run the show; it takes a lot to do that." - Rachel Croce

Is there anything else I should know about you?
32. "You should probably know I mud wrestle on the weekends." - Venne

When can you start?
33. "I need to check with my mom on that one." - Bolzan

Use three adjectives to describe yourself
34. "I hate questions like this." - Katrina Meistering, manager of outreach, National Fatherhood Initiative

Tell of a time you made a mistake and how you dealt with it
35. "I stole some equipment from my old job, and I had to pay for its replacement." - Meistering

Have you submitted your two weeks' notice to your current employer?
36. "What is two weeks' notice? I've never quit a job before, I've always been fired." - Meistering

Random responses
37. "One guy [said] 'it would probably be best' if I didn't run a background check on him. Of course, I did, and learned all about his long, sordid past of law-breaking. Our client actually offered him a job as a staff accountant, but quickly retracted the offer when I had to tell them all about his recent arrest for a meth lab in his basement." - Charles
38. "[A] guy said he did not have a mailing address, as he was living in a gypsy camp at the airport." - Sandra L. Flippo, SPHR
39. "I went into the lobby to pick up a candidate. As he stood up, his trousers fell to the floor! [He said] 'Oh, my gosh -- they told me I needed a suit for the interview. I've got no money -- so I borrowed this thing. It's too big!'" - Beth Ross, executive and career coach
40. "Wow -- I'm not used to wearing dress shoes! My feet are killing me. Can I show you these bloody blisters?" - Bolzan
41. "May I have a cup of coffee? I think I may still be a little drunk from last night." - Smith
42. (During a telephone call to schedule the interview) "Can we meet next month? I am currently incarcerated." - Smith
43. "[A candidate] was asked whether he could advocate impartially on behalf of the various universities he would be representing since he had attended one of them. He responded, 'Well, I don't like to poop where I eat, but I thought my education sucked, so I certainly wouldn't put that school above the others.'" - Darby

Crazy Child-Care Interviews

Crazy Child-Care Interviews

While working as the director of a child-care and preschool facility, I often interviewed many people for positions like preschool teacher or school-bus driver. Surprisingly, many of the applicants were rejected, because in a nutshell, there was no way that I was going to let them within ten feet of a kid, let alone trust them in a room alone with a while classroom full of them. These are some of the crazy things I have heard over the years from those that thought they would make perfect preschool teachers:

Question: How long have you worked in the child development field?
Answer: "Well, I was a kid for like 12 years or so but I grew up fast so maybe 10 years of experience being a child."
Answer: "I was a teacher for about five years before I went to jail for killing my boyfriend, cause he slept with this girl, so now I am trying to get back into teaching."

Question: Do you have a criminal record that may prevent you from working with kids?
Answer: "I have a criminal record but there were not kids involved, so yeah, I can work with kids."
Answer: "I was busted a while ago for DUI, but now I am real careful when I drive drunk."
Answer: "What exactly do you mean by criminal?"

Question: What makes you want to work with children (asked to a male teaching candidate)?
Answer: "Well, honestly, I have heard that you can meet a lot of single moms in this profession."

Question: You said that you were terminated from the last school you worked at, what was the reason?
Answer: "Well, they said I hit this kid. But I didn't, I just pushed him a little, so they fired me."
Answer: "There was this one kid that I hated and I kinda got pissed off and smacked him – but I am sure I will like all the kids here and that would never happen."

Question: What qualities do you have that would make you work well with young children?
Answer: "Well, I am really immature so I can relate to them and I also like to play with toys and video games. I think that they would like that."

Question: Is there anything else you would like to tell me about yourself?
Answer: "Well, I want to make at least $40,000 a year." (This person had no experience, had just graduated from high school and showed up in sweats and a t-shirt that said "Bite me.")
Answer: "Yes, I wanted to know if you wanted to have dinner with me later and maybe a drink. I think you're really pretty."
Answer: "Yes, I was wondering how long I have until I have to take a drug test. I am going to need a few days at least."
Answer: "I was wondering what the policy was on drinking on your lunch break." (The person was interviewing to be a bus driver.)
Answer: "Do I really have to teach them stuff or can I just babysit them?"
Answer: "If you hire me today can you give me an advance on my first paycheck? I've got a lot of bills to pay."
Needless to say once I got these answers, the interview was over.
– By Richel Newborg

Shot Through The Heart....

My boss got so wasted at an office happy hour one evening that while he was trying to show everyone what a great dart player he is, he accidentally impaled one of his employees in the chest with a metal dart.

I love this one sentence wonder.

By the way, I am also a very bad dart player whose confidence in her skills increases after a few beers.  Just a warning to ya all.

This one was sharp (heh), MotoCheese!

I Wonder Why He Didn't Get The Part?

Crazy actors seem to abound. The truly insane part here is him thinking he can actually sing. My dog howling for a treat sounds better:



I also love the fact that he's got a bad case of the crazy eyes. Absolutely precious.

G-Shot

Those new reporters say the darndest things....

Doggone Ridiculous

I came across this mid 20th century ad and was a bit amazed by it, so I had to share. 

I'm glad they are so damn concerned about the car being marred by this contraption, but hey, who cares about the dog.  At  that point, why even bother with a hole for its head if you're gonna strap your dog to the outside of fast moving vehicle.  Yeesh.

Sunday Funday

Some gems from There I Fixed It:

I don't blame this person for worrying about their car being stolen.  I mean, a mint condition ride like this...

I actually find this kind of bizarrely clever.

Yeah, this one isn't so clever.  In fact it's rather shocking (ba da bum).

Another one that seems kinda like a good idea to me - if you live close enough to bike to your grocery, how else could you carry a bunch of bags?   

And another not so good idea. 

And finally - uses for duct tape are endless, doncha think?

Woman Crashes Car While Shaving Bikini Area

By David Knowles

(March 8) -- Sometimes multitasking has its limits.

 Such is the case in the Florida Keys, where police say a 37-year-old woman crashed her 1995 Ford Thunderbird into another car as she attempted to shave her bikini area.

According to the arrest report, on March 2, Megan Mariah Barnes told Florida State Trooper Gary Dunick that she was on her way to Key West to meet her boyfriend, and that she "wanted to be ready for the visit." So, police say she had her ex-husband, Charles Judy, who was riding in the passenger seat, take the wheel while she attended to her pubic hair.


The results weren't pretty. Going 45 mph, Barnes and Judy are said to have rear-ended a car that had slowed to make a left turn.



A day earlier, Barnes had been convicted of numerous driving infractions, including DUI with a prior arrest and driving with a suspended license. She had been ordered to impound her car, her license was revoked for five years, and she had been placed on probation for nine months.


Dunick told The Citizen newspaper that after the crash, in which two passengers in the other car were treated for minor injuries at an area hospital, Barnes drove for another half-mile before switching seats with Judy in an attempt to make it seem to police as though she had not been driving.

"It is unbelievable," Dunick said. "I'm really starting to believe this stuff only happens in the Keys."

"She was charged with leaving the scene of an accident," said police spokesman Lt. Alex Annunziato, "in addition to all the charges stemming from her earlier violations."


If found guilty of violating the terms of her probation, Barnes could face a year behind bars.

Well, this might not be a crazy coworker to US, but I'm sure someone somewhere has to work with this woman.   Besides, it was too good to pass up.

Don't you love how the person helping her out shaving her pubes in preparation to see her boyfriend was her ex-husband?  Now that's what I call an amicable divorce.

Missing Intelligence

Are these true?  What the hell do I know.  But they ARE funny - and using the people I come across everyday as a gauge of general intelligence levels, I wouldn't be suprised if they are.

When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. 'Hey,' I announced to the technician, 'it's open!' His reply: 'I know. I already got that side.' This was at the Ford dealership in Canton, MS


We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not.' Four is larger than two.'
We haven't used Sears repair since.

My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change.

I live in a semi rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the DEER CROSSING sign on our road. The reason: 'Too many deer are being hit by cars out here! I don't think this is a good place for them to be crossing anymore.'
From Kingman, KS

My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.
From Kansas City

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.'
Happened in Birmingham, Ala.

The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!'
She was a probation officer in Wichita, KS

At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to 'downsizing,' our manager commented cheerfully, 'This is fun. We should do this more often.' Not another word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.
This was a lunch at Texas Instruments.

I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the sake of her life, couldn't understand why her system would not turn on. A deputy with the Dallas County Sheriffs office, no less.

How would you pronounce this child's name?
"Le-a"
Leah?? NO
Lee - A?? NOPE
Lay - a?? NO
Lei?? Guess Again.
This child attends a school in Kansas City, Mo. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong.  It's pronounced "Ledasha".  When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash isn't silent."

Sunday Funnies

More Fail Blog:

*Snort* I can't... *giggle* comment on... *guffaw* this because... * chuckle* I just can't stop... * double snort* laughing.

Please remove non-mushroom material - such as any cigarette butts.  But hey, they tell you right on the package that they can't remove all foreign objects, so they warned ya!

A little concrete burn never killed anyone, but still....

my psychic powers see a lawsuit in the future.

Can I borrow a quarter?

The perfect setup for people who despise children.

I don't see a safety issue here, do you?

Getting Off In Denver

Computer programmer, 34, arrested for in-flight masturbation episode


MARCH 2--A Delaware man is facing a federal criminal charge after he was caught yesterday masturbating on a plane while seated next to a female passenger. Murali Nookella, a 34-year-old computer programmer, was en route to Denver from Philadelphia on a Southwest Airlines flight when a woman noticed him "fumbling underneath a blanket," according to an affidavit sworn by FBI Agent Joel Nishida. The woman, identified only by her initials in the affidavit, said that Nookella's "eyes were closed and his hands moved all around his groin area" underneath a "mustard/gold blanket pulled up to his waist." As the woman packed up her belonging to move seats, she "looked at Nookella and saw him holding his erect penis." The woman said that Nookella remarked, "You caught me." Nookella held a napkin in his left hand, the woman told the FBI. According to Nishida's affidavit, the woman "did not look but heard a swishing sound. She thought Nookella wiped something." Nookella's employer told TSG that he was headed to Denver on a work assignment. Nookella was named today in a misdemeanor criminal complaint charging him with indecent exposure. If convicted, he faces a maximum of 90 days in jail and a $5000 fine.

Well, this counts as a crazy coworker because he was ON A FREAKIN' BUSINESS TRIP!  Not a "pleasure" (heh!) trip, but as a representative of his company.  His coworkers must be eagerly looking forward to his return to the home office.....

Mortuary Madness Part Two

More funeral parlor weirdness!

We hired a girl to do the makeup (someone's got to do it).  Problem was, she slathered it on like people were going to be in a pageant rather than to the great beyond.  The women wound up looking like hookers.  She didn't use eyeshadow on the men, luckily, but she still piled on the foundation, blusher and even lipstick. They came out a bit transvestite-ish.

We had to let her go.  Too many people were offended by their deceased loved ones looking like prostitutes and cross-dressers.

That's one of those jobs you never really think about.  And for good reason, because I am totally creeped out now.

Do you have to the makeup yourself now, Dan the Funeral Man?

Mortuary Madness

My family owns a funeral parlor.  It's a big house, and we live above the funeral parlor itself, on the second floor, which I am sure will creep some people out.  But since I have been living here since birth, I'm so used to it that it doesn't seem weird to me at all.  I have always worked for the family biz, and when my dad retired and moved to Florida, I took over completely.

One time my staff made a pretty significant mistake.  We had two viewings that day, and the men both had similar names, we will call them John Robertson and Robert Johnson.  The staff put John R. in one viewing room, but put out the flowers and the placard for Robert J.  And vice versa in Robert J.'s room.

Imagine both family's surprise when they arrived to say good-bye to their loved one and.....it wasn't him.  There was much shuffling and confusion to rectify that mess.

Your Dad worked at a funeral parlor all those years and retired in Florida?  You would think he'd want to get away from old corpses.  Just kidding, Floridians, I love your state!  Especially as I look out the window at more snow.

We have more from Dan the Funeral Man tomorrow!

Pull Harder!!

I work in a nursing home and I'd have to say the worst person to work with there is this one CNA (nurse aide) who thinks she is perfect. I'll call her Sue. She's even worse when there are new people around. No one can put the can liner in better than her, make the beds better than her, brush their teeth better than her and so on.

One day I was training a new CNA when my favorite CNA, Sue, was coming onto shift. Right there is front of the new CNA she chewed me out for improper peri-care (cleaning the "private" areas) on a male resident from the day before.

The new CNA was terrified of cranky Sue as I just stood there and listened to her diatribe of how I didn't clean the resident properly. I didn't pull the foreskin back down after cleaning him and now it is stuck and she had to go report it to the nurse because she couldn't pull his foreskin down over the tip of his penis. She spent about a half hour trying to pull it down and then spent time on each round and I had totally ruined the guy and he would need surgery.

I let her finish and told her sorry, crap happens. Gave report and left.

As we got to the break room I started laughing and explained to the new girl (and the oncoming nurse) that the man is circumcised. He doesn't have any foreskin to pull down. But I'm sure he totally loved the peri-care the night before that he got from Sue.

The new CNA learned quickly that no one is as good as Sue.

Oh my.  The image I have of a nurse's aid yanking on an old guy's non-existent foreskin is just...well....uncomfortable.

Poor guy.

This one was a cut above, whoever you are and didn't leave a name!  Thanks!!

Richard Bastard

The National Westminster Bank admitted last month that it keeps personal information about its customers-such as their political affiliation-on computer. But now Computer Weekly reveals that a financial institution, sadly unnamed, has gone one better and moved into the realm of personal abuse.


The institution decided to mailshot 2000 of its richest customers, inviting them to buy extra services. One of its computer programmers wrote a program to search through its databases and select its customers automatically. He tested the program with an imaginary customer called Rich Bastard.

Unfortunately, an error resulted in all 2000 letters being addressed "Dear Rich Bastard". The luckless programmer was subsequently sacked.

FYI:  Snopes - Rich Bastard

Too bad they didn't have a customer actually named Richard Bastard.  Coulda covered their asses with him.

Spritz Ditz

I work at a high end department store.  Do you know those annoying women who stand around and try to spray you with perfume?  Well, the one at our store was a very nervous young girl.  She would stammer and stutter when asking to spray people, and when she would finally get one to agree, she would be so rattled that she would never check to see which way the spray nozzle was pointing.  She'd just grab her bottle and spray away.  This resulted in people who never agreed to being sprayed getting it from two feet away, pissing them off royally.  The fancy dress section she stood next to got such a good dosing that at lot of the clothes had droplet marks on them from the perfume and reeked of it - not good for sales.  The final straw was when she raised her spray bottle from hell and sprayed a woman - right in her left eye.

What's the problem with that?  Who doesn't want a fragrant eyeball?  The burning subsides eventually, and the resulting scent can be quite lovely.